Dec 03, 2020Coaching
I originally wrote this article in 2012, but in these turbulent times - in relation to the coronavirus - it is unfortunately very timely to pay attention to how we live our lives as long as we live. Because this epidemic also draws attention to the fact that anyone can leave this world at any time, completely unexpectedly.
And not just because someone dies from the virus, but, for example, because the virus put them in a situation that made their situation completely hopeless and therefore they committed suicide. Unfortunately, there are examples.
My motto is to live well as long as we live. In love, respect for each other and in health. The time of the Advent also draws our attention to this, so that our days may be filled with love, helping each other, giving hope, and bringing joy to others.
So the experience of nurse Bronnie Ware of Australia about what people regret on their deathbed is very relevant here. She wrote a book on the most common dying remorse: The Top Five Regrets of the Dying. What can we do to make our lives happier while we are still alive? The 5 regrets of her experience give great advice to everyone to do things while we can still do it.
1. I wish I had the courage to live my own life and not what others expected of me.
This was the most common regret in Bronnie Ware’s experience. Looking back on their deathbeds, people realize that they have failed to make even half of their dreams come true. Most people die in the knowledge that they can blame themselves for unfulfilled dreams. It is only then that many realize that their choices have shaped their lives. Choices based on whether or not they did things.
2. I wish I hadn't worked so much.
Men, in particular, deplore the chase for a lot of work, money and material wealth and - as a result - the neglected wife, family, children, friends, lack of free time. The years when a child is small can never be brought back, and it is in these years that men (and even a large proportion of women now) work the most to give their children everything. Unfortunately, for children, being there for them, playing together, and having a connection would be far more important than material possessions.
One of our dear friends also said that he has a lot of things to do because he has to create financial security for his children. In vain we and others warned him several times not to overdrive, but he didn’t pay attention to anyone, he just ran through his life, burning candles from both ends. He was 43 years old when he died suddenly, dying from one moment to the next. He left his then-small teenage children here. The kids still miss that he wasn’t with them at least as long as he could.
3. I wish I had the courage to show my feelings.
Many are afraid of showing feelings because they are afraid of being defenceless or because they are afraid of conflict. The other reason we don’t talk about feelings is that we haven’t even learned how to express and phrase them. In the Conscious Communication program (which is about much more than just communication skills), adults are struck by the fact that they do not know and cannot articulate what is going on in them at the level of their feelings.
Yet, repressed feelings (negative energies such as resentment, anger, jealousy, hopelessness, fear of death, for example) can only cause additional worries, relationship conflicts, low self-esteem, and ultimately illness. Sincerely expressed feelings, (although they may temporarily hurt others for which they are solely responsible, and it’s good to know that we can’t control the feelings and reactions of others no matter what we do) ultimately elevate every relationship to a higher level. Either by making it better or by ending the relationship and removing from our lives what we no longer need. In either case, everyone will be happier. :)
4. I wish I had nurtured my friendships.
Dying people always realize that human relationships were (would have been) the most important. In the last period, neither money, nor social status, nor any achievements has mattered, only human relationships and love, which is of real importance.
Seeing the death of my parents, I can say it from experience that we do not bring any material goods to the other side, only the energies and feelings, the experiences we have experienced in our relationships.
That’s why it’s so important to me, for example, to improve and spread my Intuyching™ system around the world so that I can make life easier for as many people as possible. Either by actually talking to me and learning from me, or by indirectly getting relief from those who help with the system I have put together. That’s how I know I’m making a good impact on the lives of a lot of people, and that’s the most important thing to me.
5. I wish I had allowed myself to be happier.
Although our lives and choices are about us, many are so engrossed in everyday life that they don’t have time for happiness. Due to family, generational patterns, social expectations and habits, many do not experience happiness and liberated joy.
It would be important for both our dreams and ourselves (our Soul) to be fulfilled and respected as long as we are able to do so. We don’t notice, and we’re not at all grateful, that we’re healthy and alive, nor that our loved ones are healthy. We only pay attention when we’re not feeling well, maybe we’re sick, or when it’s too late to realize that a loved one has died suddenly.
Therefore, I suggest you pay attention to what makes you feel good, as you will take your feelings with you. And it also does matter if you live your life with good or bad feelings because those feelings determine your quality of life.
1. I pay attention to myself, my dreams and my loved ones. I do my best to make a wonderful life movie.
2. I am grateful for my health and will do my best to live every moment of my life happily.
3. Life depends on my choices. I consciously and wisely choose harmony, happiness, laughter and fun in every moment.
4. I live in a way so that I would not regret anything at the end of my life.
5. Life is wonderful and I deserve to enjoy every minute with all my heart!
If, as a result of the article, you realized that you are still angry with yourself, for something you regret you should not have done it that way, then read the article on the DEMERT Method to know how you can transform the old grievances, anger and forgive yourself. Remember, anger only poisons you, so the best possible time to forgive is always NOW! The first part of the article on forgiveness can be found HERE, and the one on the DEMERT Method HERE.
With love,
Erika
