Jul 01, 2012Coaching
This article is the second part of the series of forgiveness. To find out what the 3 main misconceptions are that make forgiveness difficult, click here and read Forgiveness Part I.
(I used to call the DEMERT Method ™ But Method ™, but it has since been amended, and instead of a single step, it now consists of 2 steps for transforming anger and 3 steps for transforming any limiting belief.)
Since I really like practical exercises and techniques, I will now share a practice that has proven itself not only to me but to a great many.
Forgiveness with the DEMERT Method is extremely powerful and very effective, simple, just need to do it!
Comment:
If you have and practise the Intuyching ™, SuperConscious Self-Coaching ™ system, I recommend using it before doing the DEMERT Method ™. It is worthwhile to transform all the negative energy, anger, and associated blocks so to be able to do the DEMERT easier.
I do not believe in letting go because you cannot let go of energy because you cannot hold it in your hands. I can let anything go what I can keep in my hands. Not in the case of energies. So let's see how you can transform anger into forgiveness instead of letting it go.
1. Brings and immediately transforms all NEGATIVE resistance from the subconscious to conscious that prevents you from forgiving (BUT no because…)
2. Affirms the POSITIVE, the forgiving side (BECAUSE…)
How can we forgive someone? We choose one specific hurt that we want to forgive.
For example:
I forgive myself that I made the wrong decision.
I forgive God/my life/the Universe that I am in this situation.
I forgive my spouse that he/she shouted at me.
I forgive my boss that he/she doesn’t appreciate what I do.
See some examples of the DEMERT Method ™ to help you understand the process given below:
1.
I forgive myself that I made a wrong decision… BUT no because it was a big mistake.
I forgive myself that I made a wrong decision … BUT no because I was stupid.
I forgive myself that I made a wrong decision … BUT no, I can’t forgive because I have ruined my life.
2.
I forgive God/my life/the Universe that I am in this situation … BUT no, I can’t forgive because I don`t deserve this, I am worthy of something better.
I forgive God/my life/the Universe that I am in this situation … BUT no because I really hate this.
I forgive God/my life/the Universe that I am in this situation … BUT no, because why did they do this to me?
3.
I forgive my spouse that he/she shouted at me … BUT no because it feels bad.
I forgive my spouse that he/she shouted at me … BUT no, I can’t forgive him/her because he/she can’t do something like this to me.
I forgive my spouse that he/she shouted at me … BUT no because he/she is a turd.
4.
I forgive my boss that he/she doesn’t appreciate what I do … BUT no because he/she should notice my efforts.
I forgive my boss that he/she doesn’t appreciate what I do … BUT no because he/she is stupid.
I forgive my boss that he/she doesn’t appreciate what I do … BUT no, I can’t forgive him/her because I am much better than him/her.
All the words you write after, BUT … show your inner reluctance to forgive.
Continue writing until you don’t get anything else after BUT and write your own sentences that pop into your head, the above sentences are for illustrating the process only. You may need to write many pages of sentences but you will run out of them eventually!
Sometimes half a page is enough but generally when you run out of ideas, and you don’t get anything after “BUT...” you will have written enough. How much you write will depend on how deeply it is rooted and how many resistance layers you have added to it. Using this method, we are going through all the inner layers until there is no more resistance.
You may find you get the same sentence again and again after “BUT...”. This is normal, it just indicates that you have “put” the same resistance to “many places” and you run them in many layers.
Some sentences may sound rude but that is OK, no-one else needs to see what you have written. The essence of the method is to write out everything, all your judgments, perceptions and beliefs because these are the things that don’t allow you to change your anger into forgiveness.
Once you can find nothing else to write, you will be left with your original positive sentence of forgiveness:
I forgive myself that I made the wrong decision.
I forgive God/my life/the Universe that I am in this situation
I forgive my spouse that he/she shouted at me.
I forgive my boss that he/she doesn’t appreciate what I do.
This means you have no more resistance in you and you can now finally put down the heavy baggage of anger and forgive!
After you have discovered and transformed all resistance with the “BUT no because…”, the next step is to affirm the forgiving with BECAUSE.
I forgive my spouse that he/she shouted at me … BECAUSE he/she might just have a bad day.
I forgive my spouse that he/she shouted at me … BECAUSE sometimes it’s not easy with me either.
I forgive my spouse that he/she shouted at me … BECAUSE I love him/her.
If you cannot write anything after BECAUSE, there must be some anger still. (So use the 1st step of the DEMERT Method.) Just one sentence after BECAUSE… affirms the new supporting belief immediately and then you can further strengthen it with the Mirror exercise!
You have changed your low-vibration, fear-based energy of anger into a high vibration love-based energy, forgiveness with this. Congratulations!
When you have finished writing, tear up or safely burn the paper with your old judgments, perceptions and beliefs.
The major lesson in forgiveness: if we didn’t judge, we wouldn’t get angry at others/situations; the fewer judgments we make, the less anger we will have.
With love,
Erika
